Working Man

I'm not going to lie to you, the biggest wild card of this whole journey to Australia was the whole, "will I have enough money?" thing, and whether or not I was going to have to do the whole, "Selling my body, or drugs, or both." Luckily for me, I have found a job waiting tables, and not one that will feature me in the next episode of "Locked Up Abroad." Now that I have a job, albeit part-time, I know I can at least feel comfort in the fact that I will really only have to spend the money I earn, and travel on the money I saved in Boston.

The place I'm working is going to be a very laid back spot to work, and I can walk there in a little less than 5 minutes, ideal for any slacker/lazy person. Waiting on tables here is so much different than say in the North End of Boston, because there, my night depends on how many patrons come in for dinner, how well they decide to tip, how many people are staffed, and whether or not I botch orders. Granted, some nights were phenomenal, because occasionally there are huge bills leading to huge tips.

In Australia, gratuity is damn near frowned upon, and I saw a bill today for 198 dollars, and a 2 dollar coin tip. If that happened back home, I'd most likely have to find out where that person lives, and egg their house. Here, it's common place, as I am paid an hourly wage that doesn't require gratuity. The tips are icing on the cake, but I'm guaranteed the 19 bucks an hour they are promising me, regardless of service, amount of customers or general talent on my behalf...what a country.

Another aspect of this that is perfect is the fact that every time I approach a table, I'm something relatively exotic. Before menu questions or drinks queries, it's, "Where are you from?" "Or, a Yank are ya? I won't hold it against you." I talked about my trip to New Zealand with one table and got some tips about where to go, and another table talked my ear off about Boston because they spent a week there and fell in love with it. Another table was French men, and well, the French are the same wherever you go, I'll leave it at that.

The trip to new Zealand heads out of Melbourne at 5:50 in the evening, and I am absolutely pumped. To prepare, Davs and I have been watching Lord of the Rings, and planning our road trip on a daily basis. Right now, our trip looks something like this:

-Arrive in Christchurch at 11 PM on Thursday, find a hostel, and crash...after about two hours at a pub. Note: I wonder if this city was started by Catholics?

-Pick up our camper van early the next morning, and hit the road, driving from the East Coast to the West Coast. Apparently, some of the views and scenery on the way is pretty unreal, so we'll most likely stop a bunch to snap some pictures and act out about a dozen Lord of the Rings quotes.

-Our first Major stop is a gun range, called Cowboy's Paradise. That's all I needed to hear to set this up...basically just shooting a lot of guns and riding horseback along a pristine lake and canyon. Hopefully I won't shoot my own eye out or Dick Cheney someone, but I have a feeling I'm going to be a marksman, because I'm a dead shot in Duck Hunt.

-We're driving down to Fox Glacier the following day as soon as we wake up, or in my case after a night of staring at the ceiling and crying, as we are set to skydive over the big chunk of ice and the unreal landscape it has created. I just puked in my mouth a bit thinking about skydiving, so I'm going to move onto the next point and say that I just don't want to be a human pancake. I made myself watch and re-watch the second episode of Band Of Brothers, so I can realize how lucky I am that I don't have to fight in enemy territory after landing. I can pretty much do that for anything scary and it helps, because honestly, who jumps into enemy territory?

-After a successful skydive, I'll be making sure to change my underwear, or my pre-emptive Dipends, then driving to Queenstown. This city is supposed to be in a beautiful area, and seems to be the destination for any people looking for adventure sports, skiing or debauchery. We'll around here for two days with only a guaranteed stop kayaking out at Milford Sound, which if you google image it, has the prettiest vistas I have ever seen. Davs also wants me to bungee from the highest place to do so in the world with him, but something tells me my leap out of an airplane will be more than enough man crying for me (speaking of which, almost had a man cry to the news of Swayze, who was once honored by being the name on the back of my men's hockey league team, the Moose Knuckles. That guy was the best.)

So that's my weekend, more or less. We'll probably throw in a few different hikes in LOTR territory, I refuse to leave until I find either a Shire or Mordor. Look forward to a million or so pictures and possibly even a video of my skydive by Tuesday.